Time passes and I spend my life trying to kill time. Get busy, kill time out of boredom, do something, wait for time to pass while I try to live. I kill life in the process and it starts all over again, one day at a time, one hour at a time, day after day. I fight against time while trying to make sense of life, trying to make sense of the things I say and do that I kill time with. It’s all over and time is not, life is not. It’s all over and time is laughing at me and life is laughing along. The battle between time and life continues and they both survive me while I am trying to make sense…the day is over and it ended in the same way it had started; wondering what to do next.
I have been told so many things. I’ve believed some and I’ve questioned some. What do you believe? I have hesitated to find out for I would have to dive into an unknown and undesired space. I didn’t want to go to the deepest, most frightening of territories. What would I do, if I found out? Would I have the courage to follow my own beliefs or would I prefer to simply follow? I preferred to succumb to fate and never be whole; nodding at truths and smiling at lives that weren’t mine. I felt safe until I woke up one morning wondering at the journey that I had taken together with all the others; those who doubted my dreams for they could never live their own.